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Welcome! I'm Sven and this is a guide to my life in Australia. Join me in discovering the do's and don'ts of living down under. Like that box of crap in the bottom of your wardrobe, there's useful stuff in here. Somewhere.

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Oh, we should have seen this coming, but it still wouldn’t have made any sense

So, remember when I said I was a reboundaholic? Yeah, well, didn’t we all know that was going to end badly. Before I left for the UK I was sliding into some kind of pseudo-relationship with a nice enough chap (a little arrogant, perhaps, but sometimes that’s not a bad thing, is it?), and everything was going swimmingly because he was a nice guy and I was completely ignorant about what a bad idea this was. Anyhoo, I went to England, realised that this had disaster written all over it and, upon my return, attempted to end it face-to-face with an “it’s not you, it’s me” type of thing. So far so sensible, and it turns out he had also decided a similar thing. Sadly, his method of dealing with it wasn’t quite as direct as mine, and by that I mean he stopped returning my calls.

Anyone with a modicum of mental reasoning would simply have thanked their lucky stars to have avoided the awkward conversation and left it at that, but we all know I’m not like that. I’m an ego with legs: people never just don’t call me back. Besides which, I think I’m worth an explanation at the very least, even if it is just to say ‘thanks but no thanks’. Imagine, if you will, me raging about for a fortnight of “why hasn’t he called me”, except that if he did call me I would have arranged to meet him just to dump him. Isn’t that just the craziest thing you ever read?

Rebound is nuts. It turns you into some kind of masochist, where the very worst idea seems like the best plan. Common sense plugs its ears and assumes the brace position as you go merrily on your way like a drunk in charge of a bus. Even when it was obvious what was going on, I still stuck at it until I finally got the message – via Facebook(!) – that it was over. As I read it I wasn’t angry or bitter – I just felt a strange, instant relief and got on with my day.

Did I need those two weeks of ranting and being totally crazy just to get them out of my system? Perhaps I needed to be unceremoniously jilted to validate my newfound singledom. Maybe, having been the one to start the end of my last relationship, I need someone to dump me just to complete the set and help me move on.

I can’t think of a clever way to wrap this post up. Whatever it was, I feel much better now. Life is strange; emotions are weird. It’s all good.

5 comments to “Oh, we should have seen this coming, but it still wouldn’t have made any sense”

  1. Silverback
    12 October 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Anthing ending in -holic can’t be good but yes, waiting for a call from someone you’re planning on dumping is weird. Understandable…..but weird. Glad it’s over for you and you can move on.

    Hey, first comment for me I think.
    Silverback´s last blog ..I Need A Fag My ComLuv Profile

  2. Rocketstar
    12 October 2009 at 11:23 pm

    “Life is strange; emotions are weird. It’s all good.”

    Amen
    Rocketstar´s last blog ..Is It Wrong? My ComLuv Profile

  3. Gnightgirl
    13 October 2009 at 1:39 pm

    What rocketstar said. I love it when people open up and write that which is totally relate-able. Bravo, you, once again.
    Gnightgirl´s last blog ..Knitting (Ahem) Progress Report My ComLuv Profile

  4. Sven
    13 October 2009 at 9:45 pm

    Woot! Welcome to Silverback and his validation of my certifiable status. Yes, I’m officially a loon. Glad to see that Rocket and Gng are in the boat with me! Meet you all at the bar?

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A printable copy of the recipe for you, just in case. This recipe brought you courtesy of Mary Berry's Country Cooking (As Seen on ITV) circa 1985 Set aside for three months, turning once daily. This batch will be ready for Christmas. (The green Stamfords bottle is mine for next year when I go back the UK.) Add the gin until the bottle is full. Put the caster sugar in the bottle on top of the sloes. Weigh out 10oz caster sugar for each bottle you are making. (Note: caster and castor sugar are the same thing.) Ensure you have enough gin to make as much liqueur as you want. Also, a freshly baked blueberry tart goes down a treat. Put them in a clean, empty bottle till it is about 2/3 full. At home, slit the sloes open part way - don't cut them in half.