Sven's life in Oz

So, remember when I said I was a reboundaholic? Yeah, well, didn’t we all know that was going to end badly. Before I left for the UK I was sliding into some kind of pseudo-relationship with a nice enough chap (a little arrogant, perhaps, but sometimes that’s not a bad thing, is it?), and everything was going swimmingly because he was a nice guy and I was completely ignorant about what a bad idea this was. Anyhoo, I went to England, realised that this had disaster written all over it and, upon my return, attempted to end it face-to-face with an “it’s not you, it’s me” type of thing. So far so sensible, and it turns out he had also decided a similar thing. Sadly, his method of dealing with it wasn’t quite as direct as mine, and by that I mean he stopped returning my calls.

Anyone with a modicum of mental reasoning would simply have thanked their lucky stars to have avoided the awkward conversation and left it at that, but we all know I’m not like that. I’m an ego with legs: people never just don’t call me back. Besides which, I think I’m worth an explanation at the very least, even if it is just to say ‘thanks but no thanks’. Imagine, if you will, me raging about for a fortnight of “why hasn’t he called me”, except that if he did call me I would have arranged to meet him just to dump him. Isn’t that just the craziest thing you ever read?

Rebound is nuts. It turns you into some kind of masochist, where the very worst idea seems like the best plan. Common sense plugs its ears and assumes the brace position as you go merrily on your way like a drunk in charge of a bus. Even when it was obvious what was going on, I still stuck at it until I finally got the message – via Facebook(!) – that it was over. As I read it I wasn’t angry or bitter – I just felt a strange, instant relief and got on with my day.

Did I need those two weeks of ranting and being totally crazy just to get them out of my system? Perhaps I needed to be unceremoniously jilted to validate my newfound singledom. Maybe, having been the one to start the end of my last relationship, I need someone to dump me just to complete the set and help me move on.

I can’t think of a clever way to wrap this post up. Whatever it was, I feel much better now. Life is strange; emotions are weird. It’s all good.