Sven's life in Oz

I’m going to explain the following as a potentially valuable money-saving exercise so that hopefully, if someone from the Park Hyatt should read this, they won’t think I’m just a light-fingered pikey who’ll take anything that isn’t nailed down.* I just returned from a conference in Melbourne and had a fabulous stay in an extremely elegant hotel, where I enjoyed a free upgrade ton a suite bigger than my flat, with fantastic views, as spa bath and a telephone in the toilet. More about that (the stay, not the bog-phone) in the next post. For now, let’s talk theft.

I know I’m not the only person who gets a bit klepto in the hotel bathroom, and this one had lotions and potions aplenty. The bathroom in my suite wasn’t just a room: it was a complex.  It was like an Aladdin’s cave of linen and skincare products. Before I checked out, I couldn’t help myself: I took as much as I could carry. Times are tough and I need to stay smelling nice.

This little haul has bought me an extra fortnight’s showering for free. I call that “complimentary service”. But just when I thought I had explained away a mental illness as fiscal prudence, I remembered that I don’t just stop at hotels. No airline is safe, either:

How on earth can I justify twelve sets of airline socks, eye-masks and disposable toothbrushes? Oh yes: I can’t.

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* I did think about stealing the dressing gown but it just seemed like taking things a bit far. And the complimentary slippers were just awful.